Numbers 14:18 NIV
The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.
As I type this verse it gives me cold chills. To think my God will punish my children's children because of my sins. I have heard this before, read it before, but really reading it now as I type it, brings home how severe my sins will effect my heirs.
Growing up I was a good child. Most of the time I did what I was told, picked up my clothes, vacuumed the house, watched my siblings, did my homework, and came home on time. Oh yes, I always told my mother where I was going. You say I led a very boring life, but I didn't think so. At least not then.
I married at a young age and started having babies right away. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but sometimes I felt like I was chained to the everyday grind of spit up, throw up, diapers, cooking, and cleaning. At seventeen this was not what I had envisioned for myself.
My husband on the other hand went to work everyday, weekends he went fishing or hunting, and most of the time met his friends at the bar for a few drinks. For job purposes he'd say.
I'd day dream about going to a bar to meet girlfriends. I wondered what it would feel like. Hunting and fishing wasn't on my menu, although I did accompany my husband a couple of times.
After fourteen years of marriage we divorced. Now it was my turn to do what I wanted to do. I started meeting my friends at bars to dance and have a couple of drinks. This got old quickly.
I found out quickly drinking dulls your mind and limitations. The same people frequented the bars, always on the look out for something, not even knowing what they were looking for. This was not for me, not my lifestyle. I started going back to church and Sunday school. My life looked better.
I know my God is a loving God, I have confessed my sins, and repented from my wild bar days. They were wild to me anyway. I trust God, have faith, and pray my sins will not go to hard on my children and their children.
Dear Father in Heaven thank you. Thank you for being a loving God. Amen.